The Power of We: It Takes a Village
Episode Summary
Days for Girls is an organization empowering communities worldwide through menstrual health education and resources. Today, I’m thrilled to welcome the founder of Days for Girls, Celeste Mergens, along with her husband, Don. This episode dives deeper than just menstrual equity and the work of DfG. We discuss Celeste’s memoir, The Power of Days, which chronicles her inspiring journey—from growing up in poverty and overcoming abuse to leading a global movement. They also open up about Celeste’s rare hereditary movement disorder that affects her and four of her grandchildren.
About Celeste Mergens
Celeste Mergens is an author, thought leader, and changemaker and has been featured in Oprah’s O Magazine, Forbes, and Stanford Social Innovation Review. She is the Founder of Days for Girls, a global award-winning organization championing Women’s Health and Menstrual Health Equity. Days for Girls was named by the Huffington Post as a ‘Next Ten’ Organization poised to change the world in the next decade and has reached more than 3 million women and girls in 145 countries.
Typically averaging dozens of speaking events a year, Celeste is a sought-after professional speaker and consultant. She was awarded the AARP Purpose Prize, Conscious Company Global Impact Entrepreneur Top Ten Women, 2019 Global Washington Global Hero, and Women’s Economic Forum’s Woman of the Decade.
Celeste’s Book The Power of Days
From This Episode
NYC Chapter of Days For Girls – Sign up for Monthly Volunteer Sessions
Get Involved with Days for Girls
The Shame That Keeps Millions of Girls Out of School – NYT article by Nicholas Kristof
Find and Follow Carole and Wisdom Shared:
Subscribe to YouTube channel
Follow and send a message on Facebook
Follow and send a message on LinkedIn
Follow on Instagram
Follow on TikTok
Follow on Threads
The Wisdom Shared Team
Audio Engineering by Steve Heatherington of Good Podcasting Works
Co-Producer and Marketing Coordinator: Kayla Nelson
Production Assistant: Becki Leigh
Listen on:
-
[00:00:00] Carole: Welcome to Season Four of Wisdom Shared. This first episode captures so much of what I’m looking forward to in the new year. Hope, resilience, dedication, truth, courage, and dreams coming true. Celeste Mergens brings all these components to the forefront. She refused to take no for an answer while going through the process of creating Days for Girls, an organization that increases access to menstrual hygiene and education for girls and women all over the world.
How? By organizing volunteers to make kits that include washable, reusable menstrual products and other items so that having a period didn’t mean losing the freedom to go to school or to work.
[00:00:49] Celeste: You have to be resilient. People told me I was crazy, that this wasn’t a real issue, that it couldn’t be real. There were people that agreed to do funding and then backed out because they said, actually, we don’t want to have to do with periods.
[00:01:04] Carole: Her work was inspired by moments like this.
[00:01:07] Celeste: We taught them that your bodies are amazing. Without periods, there would be no people. Here’s what you need to have your days back.
But as the first girls came up to the doorway, at that very moment, one of them said, thank you so much, because before you came, we had to let them use us if we wanted to go to school or leave the room and go to class. I was hoping that didn’t mean what I feared it meant. And they later explained that they are being exploited in exchange for a single disposable pad.
[00:01:44] Carole: Now, you, my audience, imagine discovering that girls at a school you support were denied access to their classes during their periods. Isolated, unable to participate simply because they lacked menstrual supplies. That’s the heartbreaking reality Celeste encountered in Kenya, but Celeste soon realized that this wasn’t just a local problem. It was a global crisis.
She came up with this bold idea. DfG, as it’s come to be called, has since empowered over three million girls and women in 140 countries. In her award-winning memoir, which I highly recommend you read, The Power of Days, Celeste shares her extraordinary journey from growing up in poverty and surviving abuse to building this global movement. She achieved all of this while managing her own rare hereditary seizure disorder, which also affects four of her grandchildren.
Welcome to Wisdom Shared, where people on the front lines are the experts and where connection inspires change. I am your host, Carole Blueweiss. Today, I’m joined by Celeste Mergens and her husband, Don. Don, would you like to have the honors to please introduce Celeste to our listeners?
[00:02:59] Don: Oh, I’d love to introduce her. I’d like to introduce Celeste Mergens, who is absolutely the love of my life. And I’m just so proud of her for all that she’s been able to accomplish. Hasn’t been easy to watch, but it has been so rewarding. She is a world class leader. She is an amazing, amazing motivator. And she can motivate millions of people quickly. She’s got a lot more influence than she likes to think. She doesn’t like drawing attention to herself. So she’s very uncomfortable right now.
[00:03:36] Carole: And now Celeste, let’s make Don uncomfortable. No, I don’t know if this makes him uncomfortable, but I’d love you for you to introduce us to Don. Tell us who is this man who sits next to you?
[00:03:47] Celeste: This is my best friend in the whole world. This is the one that if I say I’m going after something, he asks, are you sure? And as soon as I confirm I’m sure he’s all in to support it, no matter what it costs. And I’m not talking about money. I’m talking about energy.
This is a person who was, for example, in a car accident a year ago. It was very nearly deadly. Yesterday we saw that they were putting in an LED stop sign and he stopped to thank the people putting it up. This is a man who thinks about others before he thinks about himself and is a phenomenal leader and an amazing father and amazing husband and truly shows up for making a difference in this world and is willing to be the wind beneath my wings.
[00:04:40] Carole: How many children do you have?
[00:04:42] Don: We have six children that Celeste bore, but they’re all married. So we consider ourselves to have 12 kids. We have 18 grandchildren.
[00:04:52] Celeste: We’ve had four foster children and four foreign exchange students, four or five, and they still come to visit.
[00:04:59] Don: I met Celeste March 5th of 1982. The second I saw her, I knew that she was going to be my wife. And I just thought that was impossible because she was the most beautiful woman I’d ever seen in my life. I knew that voice inside of me said, that’s your wife. So I pursued that and it wasn’t easy. It wasn’t easy because she wasn’t ready to get married.
She didn’t want to get married, but I knew that she was going to be my wife. So I just kept working hard on it and just loving her. And finally she decided to marry me. That’s been, good night, almost 42 years ago now.
[00:05:36] Carole: Celeste, how does someone like you end up in Kenya with the idea to create an organization? You didn’t start in the airport in the United States saying, I’m going to Kenya to provide girls with menstrual education and supplies.
[00:05:52] Celeste: No, I did not. In fact, if you told me when I was little that I would grow up to be a world specialist in menstrual health and women’s health, that was not on the list. Don and I were helping with a friend’s program for education in a very rural, arid part of Kenya. And we were in that process introduced to a healthcare program while there in the slums of Kibera, one of the largest informal settlements in the world. We ended up being invited to see an orphanage. We fell in love with the kids.
We would help them every six months when we came through and visit with them. And then learned only 18 months later that they didn’t have what they needed for menstrual care products. They were sitting on pieces of cardboard for days and not being able to go to class, not being able to take care of themselves.
And that was the moment Days for Girls was born. We taught them that your bodies are amazing. Without periods, there would be no people. Here’s what you need to have your days back. But as they came out, the first girls came up to the doorway, and I got the privilege of greeting them and hugging them. And Don took a photo of this moment.
And at that very moment, one of them said, thank you so much, because before you came, we had to let them use us if we wanted to go to school or leave the room and go to class. I was hoping that didn’t mean what I feared it meant. And they later explained that they were being exploited in exchange for a single disposable pad.
And what I didn’t yet know was how global this issue was. I got home and told people, and many of them didn’t even believe it. So I’d have them ask their friends, and we ended up inviting them. And from there, Days for Girls grew all over the world, offering education, washable pads that innovated to hold two patents and today, last up to six years. We have now reached over 3.2 million women and girls in 145 countries on seven continents. That’s how needed this has been.
[00:08:10] Carole: And you call it, I love this, a portable object of dignity.
[00:08:17] Celeste: Yes, a POD. Don’t you love that? The pad folds up into a little pocket pouch and really allows them to be taken on the go. Their feedback drove the design. It’s genius. Who would have guessed that something we don’t even want to talk about could be key to helping everybody come to the table.
Equity, strength, greater attendance in school, greater economic opportunity for their community and importantly, dignity and health and opportunity. I never guessed, and it’s been a phenomenal journey to see it, witness it, see people rise in resilience, despite of it, not even despite, with the challenge.
[00:09:02] Carole: What are these kits like?
[00:09:04] Celeste: The kits actually are washable pads because from the beginning, it became obvious that what do you do next month if you get a single use pad and there’s no place to dispose of it properly and now the next month has come and either the barrier of cost affordability or being able to locate something you need and having access, both of those are a barrier.
How do you make something you can count on month after month? So a washable pad became one of our first solutions. One, none of us would want to hang a white looking stained pad in our front yard. And that’s especially true in places where it’s taboo to even talk about periods. It was important that it was able to dry quickly, wash with little water. And those design barriers we took on one at a time so that today it really kind of looks like a flat cloth that folds into three and has six layers of absorbency in the middle and only three on the ends. So you can layer more than one and you can adjust it to your flow.
And it washes with little water and dries quickly. And they’re colorful because that hides stains and makes them cheerful. Again, helping overcome taboo and stigma and making it all about comfort and celebration. We actually hold two patents for the genius of listening to the feedback of women all over the world, and that’s proven to be a successful action.
[00:10:31] Carole: I’ll put a link in the show notes so people can see pictures.
[00:10:34] Celeste: And of course, menstrual cups are also another solution you can count on month after month and those can last up to 10 years. So we believe in providing what people want and what they need. So there’s a variety of solutions, but we emphasize washable.
[00:10:50] Carole: Instructions and all that were in different languages. Am I right?
[00:10:54] Celeste: Yes, the last time I heard, 26 languages that this education is translated into. Importantly, they always come with education. Education helps kind of erase, not kind of, absolutely erases the fear and the derision and stress and stigma that people face all over the world because of periods. When you know what it is, you can actually see it as what it is. It’s a powerful part of being a healthy woman and without periods, there would be no people.
So it connects us all. This education is interactive. It just takes an hour to an hour and a half to do the entire presentation and receiving their kits. And this is important, not only to break the stigma, but to know how to keep them healthy. The kits themselves and to have conversations that open up women’s health conversations in general. It’s proven to be just as powerful as the access to menstrual care products.
[00:11:58] Carole: You’re instructing them with all the science and then they can explain it to their communities. Is that right?
[00:12:03] Celeste: And it’s being incorporated into ministries of education and programs in Cambodia. It’s been piloted for master teachers to teach local teachers who teach the very, rural teachers. And I think it’s been part of our success to always invite local leaders to participate. From the very beginning, we included education and we included local leaders, from the very first distribution. And that’s been a pattern we have built upon. They just have risen all over the world. And that’s what this book is about, capturing them. It felt like a honestly, a sacred responsibility to get it right. And I did my best.
[00:12:46] Carole: I’d love for each of you to talk about the experience of writing the book.
[00:12:51] Don: She’s, I can tell you, she wrote it everywhere. Wherever we were at. I can remember, like it was yesterday, her writing on a train up to Machu Picchu. She’s just sitting in the little, the place there on the train. There’s a table and I was across from the table and she’s writing away.
[00:13:10] Celeste: And at night when everyone went to bed, I woke up in the middle of the night. I’d get up at 4am. I’d go into the bathroom so they wouldn’t have to worry about the light and the sound.
And I’d sit there clicking away, writing more of the story. As this all is unfolding, I was traveling a lot and I was on the road a lot and my life was already so full as a global CEO and an important family member for to be present when I was with them. So the only space I had was between. So I literally wrote this on planes, a train, and an automobile, and in our little office. And when I would be writing, he was so patient, he would be in the other room and checking on me.
[00:13:55] Carole: Don, you listened to her read out loud?
[00:13:58] Don: Many times, yeah.
[00:13:59] Celeste: He’s the best listener. He was actually one of the main timekeepers, meaning he’s really good about knowing the dates and he had the photos so he could say, yeah, that happened on this day. And having accuracy was so important to me.
[00:14:18] Carole: You actually had an idea and you made it happen and now it’s a big organization. How do you do that? How do you have an idea and then create an organization to make that happen?
[00:14:31] Celeste: That’s a great question. And I would say it starts with understanding that you’re not alone. This amazing organization and all the results didn’t happen because of me. It happened because I understood there’s the power of we, there’s the power of what happens when people with like thinking come to mind. Now we don’t have to all agree on the same things at all. But we all agree on one piece, which is that people should have access to period products. And health education that shatters the stigma.
Let’s do that together. We don’t have to agree on everything else. And those that don’t think that’s a priority, great, because there are a lot of different things that matter in the world. And so go do the one that matters to you, because I care about sheltered animals. And I care about music and I care about other things that may be more important to you.
So if we each stand where our passion is, we’ll cover it all. So instead of taking offense, if you tell someone about it and they say, no, I don’t want to help with that. You just keep that feeling of next. So, recognize you’re not alone. There’s the power of we. And you just keep inviting, stay open and invite, which you cannot do unless you have a clear vision of what you want to accomplish.
Now for me, I had an audacious one. It was like, everyone who needs it should have access to what they need. And I went and said, every girl, everywhere. And we were at a board retreat and the person that’s a specialist in boards said, no that doesn’t work. It has to be measurable and achievable. That is not achievable.
And I was like, actually, it is. It’s not that we have to reach all the girls. It’s to make the issue apparent, to pass the word about that, invite people to do it. Find the people that match that want to do this. Companies and magazines and influencers and all the people that match with this and then other people will join in too. So it’s not that we have to take responsibility.
[00:16:35] Carole: What you just said, which was very concrete. We all know that, you know, that there’s so much potential out there. So many, there’s a lot of money going around. There’s a lot of companies. Did you get on the phone? Did you write emails? I mean, how?
[00:16:44] Celeste: I did. The answer is yes. Okay. So one, you have to be able to communicate what it is you’re after and you have to be resilient because here’s the truth. People told me I was crazy, that this wasn’t a real issue, that it couldn’t be real, but there were people that agreed to do funding and then backed out because they said, actually, we don’t want to have to do with periods.
There are corporations that, no, there were big organizations that usually fund this kind of thing that said, nope, you’re just volunteers. No, we’re not. We have enterprises and countries. Please look at our entire program. You have to be willing to hear no, so you can get to the yeses and you have to be tenaciously flexible.
And by that, I mean, If someone says no, then you find who they’re listening to. You find what they will listen to and you keep just talking and inviting. So lots and lots and lots of inviting, and then make it possible for people to replicate what you’re doing, whether that’s communicating through a website, this is what we do. And they can just go to the website and share it with their friends.
Whether it’s communicating with fundraising packets, but make it possible for people to easily repeat what it is you’re doing. And don’t make it about your vision. Make it about again, inviting others. If we come together, this is what is happening in the world because we are doing this. And not about Days for Girls, we’re so fabulous and we’ve won a lot of awards, but rather, thanks to women like this in Kenya and Nepal, and this is the result. Because you help these kinds of outcomes happen. People need to know what will happen when they support you, when they work with you. So that clarity of understanding.
Don’t try to sound fancy. Don’t try to sound big. Be clear, because it’s when people are clear in understanding it, they’re like, I want to help with that. So that is incredibly important. They have to understand what you’re doing, why, and how.
[00:18:52] Carole: How did you come to this wisdom?
[00:18:55] Celeste: I have been running leadership programs and nonprofit work for a lot of years and had to learn that along the way. I also started out studying electrical engineering, so maybe the design part a bit from that. However, I had to drop out when family catastrophes happened, and so I didn’t finish that degree. I also have a degree in creative writing and literature. I think that helped for that clarity part, right, for understanding that.
But honestly, a lot of it was reading, nonprofit management, studying. I believe that leaders need to keep learning every day. I study every day. I think the strong leaders, entrepreneurial leaders are always listening and are always learning forward. And I also think that part of it may be my childhood and my religion, which we were taught not to judge each other, to really listen for the wisdom in one another, that no one person is better than another.
Growing up in poverty taught me to understand that in a really deep way. When people look at you and you’re invisible, or they look at you and they’re judging you so clearly, I got to see again and again that they couldn’t even hear me. They couldn’t see me. And I had some things to say. And I could see so clearly that unless you open the door, you can’t even understand the circumstance people are in.
And no one place or one people has all the wisdom. If we really want true strength in our world, we need to honor, respect, and listen to each other.
[00:20:44] Carole: You alluded to religion. I don’t know much about your religion. So can you talk to that a little bit? I’m assuming, and you can correct me if I’m wrong, that your faith and your religion are part of who you are. How has that influenced you as it relates to this kind of work?
[00:21:01] Celeste: Well, it’s interesting because I am personally a person of tremendous faith, in that I rely on it every day. I count on miracles every day. I wake up counting on it because that gives you kind of confidence and courage you can’t have otherwise.
With Days for Girls, I knew from the beginning this could not be about one religion, one place. It had to be non-denominational. It had to be open to the world or we couldn’t have a worldwide conversation. It had to be open borders, a Switzerland, if you will. And I knew that from the beginning of Days for Girls is that I’m personally Christian, I am a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints.
I am so grateful to truly feel that we are all children of God, to truly believe that barriers are an illusion. What matters is that we’re giving each other grace and trying to grow forward. That’s what matters. And I’m so grateful that that’s what wrapped me because as a child, I had so many moments where the world showed the opposite to me, right? So it was so important to have that be a foundation I can stand on.
[00:22:17] Carole: Can you give a concrete example?
[00:22:20] Celeste: So we had very few resources in most, well, no, I’d say all of my childhood. We were moving from place to place and moved 32 times before I was 13 years old, when I stopped counting. I really yearned for people to be able to see that they could change their circumstance. I wanted that for me, my family and for others.
So honestly, for the rest of my days, I was looking for proof and evidence of programs and things that would help people shift. Which is why one of the things I often wear is a shift ring from the traditional typewriters. Really, what we’re doing with Days for Girls is shifting opportunity and erasing stigma. That’s really what we’re doing.
And it was abusive in our home. We went without. It was unstable. It was treacherous. And I had the gift of resilience to know that I was not these experiences. I was more than that. We’re not where we’re from. We’re not our jobs. We’re not the awards. We’re not the failures. We are far more than any of that. And I really yearned for everyone to have the opportunity to show up for their full potential.
[00:23:42] Carole: Tell us how you came up with the name Days for Girls for the organization. And then you had to come up with a whole nother name for your memoir called The Power of Days. What was your creative process there and how long did it take you to nail those?
[00:23:57] Celeste: I remember going through with original volunteers, what do we call this? Because we could call it Wings or Pads or Dignity, all these things. We were thinking, what is it that having what you need gives you? I said, it gives back their days. And one of them said, that’s it! It should be called Days for Girls because that’s exactly what it turns out having what you need does.
And, as for the book, again, lists and lists of all these opportunities for what to name it. And then it came back down to really the same thing. That the power of each day for each of us and the transformation that’s possible in just a day and how they add up to so many miracles when we come together.
[00:24:46] Carole: Lest people think that you have gone through this with always having a positive attitude with no problems of your own, figuring it all out, being educated and lucky and in love and with children and all that, but you did mention in your book that you hit the DNA jackpot. And I would love to ask you what you meant by that, that you hit the DNA jackpot.
[00:25:08] Celeste: I didn’t know that I’m a carrier for PNKD dystonia. It’s a movement disorder in the family of Huntington’s and Parkinson’s. And the women carry it and have less symptoms than males who have it. And I had no idea. It’s very, very rare. However, when transitioning, ironically, in hormones, it would hit and it’s so rare they couldn’t figure it out.
I was 48 when I was starting having the symptoms. I had a horrible migraine, took, at someone’s suggestion, Coke and Excedrin codeine, both which, unbeknownst to me, caffeine triggers this disorder. I went into a series of seizures that had gone on 45 minutes. It did damage to my brain. They were about to life flight me when they were able to stop it.
I did stay overnight, but for three months, I couldn’t, when I blinked, I’d fall to the left. I couldn’t read because my eyes wouldn’t work together. I had trouble speaking for, it took about a year for my brain to heal from that attack of seizures. And I would still have seizures and they couldn’t figure out why for the longest time and how to manage them.
And it resulted in a lot of really difficult things and my amazing family rallied, but it was a year of real uncertainty and weakness. And what’s amazing to me is to look back and realize that I’m doing really well now. But there were really some serious hardships from it and to look back and realize, you know, you just take the next best step, just do the things you can in the next best step. And trust others that have gifts to step beside you and keep inviting.
And in my case, the woman that could not read anymore, who had decided that, okay, so maybe I’ve read all the books I’ll ever read. Maybe that’s why I read so ferociously and voraciously. And maybe that’s okay that I’ll never read again. And then I started getting better and it’s like, I’m better enough, I can travel. I was headed to the Asian Women’s Conference. And then the U. N. and New York City, and I’ve been doing very, very well, and wouldn’t you know, something happened that triggered seizures.
[00:27:36] Don: I’d always talk to the people that she was going to be with and let them know, okay, there’s a chance that she might have an episode, a seizure, and this is what you do. You do not call an ambulance. You’re gonna want to call an ambulance because she’s having seizures and it’s kind of spooky, but don’t do that. We’ve done that, and it’s always been, just was a mess. And she was six months that she was unable to do many things because a lot of it, I think, is because all the medication they put in you, you know, to get you to stop the seizure.
So we said, just lay her down, get her some water, and the next morning she’ll be back to normal. So I’d always tell them that. So, here she is in Bangladesh, I know she’s sick. Because she left, and she thought she had a urinary tract infection. And she went to the doctor, and the doctor said, yes, you do, but here’s the medication. They got the medication she needed, and it turned out it was counterfeit medication.
[00:28:33] Celeste: Which is an issue all over the world.
[00:28:35] Don: So, she got really sick, and I’m wanting to come get her. And I told her, I need to come get you. And she said, no, I’m going to be alright. I need to finish this trip. So I get a call in the middle of the night, I hadn’t heard from her in hours and hours and hours and knew something was wrong.
So I get a call from a lady and, and she said, Don, what you told me Celeste was going to do, she did it. She had a bad seizure and we did what you asked us to do. And we put her in bed. What do we do now? And I said, let me see her. Face the camera to her. And she did. And I said, Celeste, honey, I’m going to come get you right now. I’m just going to look at tickets. I’m going to, I’m going to come get you right now.
And she goes, no, D, no, I’ve got to finish. I’ll be all right. I just need to sleep tonight. And I said, okay, here’s the deal. You got to promise that tomorrow you’re going to rest. I’ll change your reservation to leave tomorrow night. She was supposed to leave that night and here she was in bed, just really bad.
I call the next morning. I said, okay, honey, no meetings, nothing. You’ve got to rest all day so you’re okay for the trip. Okay, okay. So I call the next morning. All of a sudden we’re on FaceTime, she’s got a bunch of people she’s meeting with, you know, she’s in the middle of a big meeting.
She goes, honey, I’m fine. I told them I feel great. So then she gets to the airport in Bangladesh and she says, I’m not feeling well. Make a long story short, she got on the flight. I get the signal from her phone. Okay, she’s there. I got that signal. She calls, says, honey, I’m not feeling well at all. As a matter of fact, I’m really pretty bad.
And I said, well, your flight leaves in five hours. You’ve got time to rest. Would you sit down and rest? She goes, my phone’s about to die. All of a sudden I hear the phone hit the ground. She had passed out. And I tried to call her back, could not get her back. I think the battery died is what happened. So for five hours, I stood there, sat there, and watched my phone, waited and waited for five hours straight.
And finally, after five hours, she called. And said, honey, are you okay? I’m like, good night, you’re alive! I thought she was dead. I thought, I called the airport so many times to see if they could help me. Has anybody called an ambulance? Is, she’s in this gate. The last time I saw, she was at this gate. Is there anybody can help? Nobody would help. Nobody.
So, anyway, I was just so grateful when she called. I could not believe she was alive. So I said, I’m going to book you a flight home. She goes, no, I have to go to the Asian Women’s Conference. They’re depending on me. Hundreds of women are going to be there. So I said, all right.
So I booked her a flight to Hong Kong. And I’ve never been happier than to see she has a bunch of friends there in Hong Kong that picked her up at the airport and they sent a picture of them all and I knew she was okay. But not all the way okay. One eye was going the other way. I can always tell when she’s not doing well when she’s got one eye going straight and the other one going the other way.
You know that picture was just clear as a bell. She wasn’t really good but she did a great job there and I said, honey, let’s just bring you home from there. No, honey, I’ve got to go to New York. I’ve got to speak at the U. N., they’re depending on me. So we got through that, but I ended up getting PTSD from that whole thing, and my right hand would shake like crazy.
[00:32:18] Celeste: For the thousandth time, I’m so sorry you went through that. That was, you know, I was doing so much better, no one was expecting that. But it was, I think, heroic for you to say, the last thing I want is for you to go to the next stop, but I’m going to do it because I support you and what you yearn for. I think it’s amazing.
And when I got to New York, the antibiotics were waiting for me, the ones that I needed because he sent them ahead. And that’s what I mean by he’s always willing to look at all the pieces, choose with wisdom, and yet also default to being of service and support.
[00:32:57] Don: Well, I’ll tell ya, Celeste is not happy unless she’s going Mach 5 with her hair on fire, okay? That’s when she’s happiest. And my goal is to help her to be happy.
[00:33:08] Celeste: I did heal. And I went on to write a book that became, because of amazing people who loved it, number one bestseller and has been nominated for the Pacific Northwest Book Award. And it is proof and evidence that we can do anything. You just take the next best step.
I’m not extraordinary. I’m just one determined woman who understood the truth, that people are amazing and we can trust each other no matter what. We can keep taking the next step in inviting others to walk beside us.
[00:33:42] Carole: How has this condition affected your family?
[00:33:45] Celeste: One of my daughters, her husband is a carrier as well, or it would not have happened because super, super rare. And so four of my grandsons have PNKD dystonia. It’s painful. They have to have adult Parkinson’s medicine to manage this. And that’s hard on a body. They endure bullying and they endured, and you can imagine how it felt as the doctors unlocked what it was we were looking at. And having one of them life flighted and having them in serious, terrible pain and not yet understanding.
And then the day that they said, it’s this dystonia and someone in this family has to have it. There’s just no way you have, at the time, three of them have this. There’s just, it doesn’t show up till a little later. So we didn’t know yet. And as he was talking and describing, having it wash over me, it was me, I was the carrier. It’s still, I, I, that doesn’t feel good.
And it is such a joy to watch these amazing human beings who are empathetic of others, who are without guile. They’re just loving and really care about how others feel because they’ve been through so much and they’re just really eager to help others. And it’s really incredible to watch them and be humbled by how strong they are. They go through far more than I have with the disease and that is humbling and inspiring.
[00:35:27] Carole: Will you read a little bit of that introduction? That would just be wonderful.
[00:35:32] Celeste: Chapter One, I am not from here. Nevada State Park, 1967. The lullaby of the road helped me forget the crowding of the backseat of the 1955 faded blue Chevy Bel Air four-door, where our three sisters, my three sisters and I, tagged along with my mom and the man I knew as my father.
He was on the hunt yet again for greener pastures, searching for a better job and a better life in yet another, then another, place. We moved from state to state 32 times before I was 13 years old. Roadside rest stops in state parks served as our temporary homes along the way. Stale, day-old tunafish sandwiches, dry on the outside, mushy in the middle, would do us for days.
When I was around five years old at one of the state parks, I was admiring the sparkle of the sun-drenched sidewalk, feeling its warmth on my bare feet, when the glint of a rhinestone collar on a small white dog caught my attention. The flash of its color twinkled up the matching leash to the manicured hand of a woman holding a perfectly good half-eaten apple.
She stared down at me before throwing the fruit into a nearby garbage container. It had been a while since I had eaten a meal. All I could think of was how delicious that apple would feel in my insides. I was working on a plan to rescue it from the dumpster and still find a way to climb back out, when I felt the woman looking me up and down.
Her nose crinkled as if I’d just offered her a day old unrefrigerated tunafish sandwich. Her eyes narrowed. Where are your shoes, girl? she asked. I stood as tall as I could. I’m toughening my feet, I said. This stranger didn’t need to know we were in between homes and that I had the unfortunate habit of wearing my shoes out on the sides or that even though my mom had shaved down the heels to level them, my latest pair were beyond rescue.
Where were my shoes? I hadn’t left them behind in the car or scattered on a patch of gravel. I’ve got no shoes. It was as if I suddenly stood in front of a mirror and saw myself reflected through the woman’s eyes. When she looked at my bare feet and clothes much too small for my undersized frame, she saw a little girl unkempt and unworthy.
I looked down at my dirty feet and, for just a moment, I saw myself the way she did. I felt small, poor, and ashamed. A sudden warm assurance came over me. I was more than what she saw. I wanted to tell her as much. I am not from here. I am not what you see. But when I looked up, she was gone. That moment scratched at me for years.
I used to think of that woman as Cruella de Vil, the villain from one of the few movies I watched as a child. It wasn’t until recently that I finally saw the woman’s momentous part of my life as a gift. At that young age, I was shown a truth. We get to decide who we are. Was I simply a poor girl living wherever we landed? Or was I more?
That still small assurance sustained and guided me. I was not my clothes, I was not my hunger, I was not my physical appearance, and I would later go on to learn that I am neither my abundance, positions, nor intellect. For better or worse, none of us are. We are not our economic circumstances, we are not our possessions, we are not our trauma. It is not our circumstances, but our responses that shape and define who we are.
I somehow knew then, and I know even better today, that each of us is far greater than we could possibly comprehend. Each one of us has something to contribute. We all matter. There are many unusual remnants of those years on the road. To this day, I can’t eat tunafish sandwiches. I eat apples through the core so that only the stem remains. And I am uncomfortable eating in front of people, unless everyone has food, which can be very inconvenient, especially while traveling. Those same experiences likewise left me interested in people and places in a way that leaves no desire to stand in judgment of them. I call that moment, and the woman and her apple, a gift. Because it went on to become a touchstone, a hope, and a prayer to survive the difficult years ahead.
[00:40:06] Carole: How does it feel to read that for like the thousandth time, I’m sure?
[00:40:13] Celeste: Oh, I’m so, you know, here’s how I feel about the story in half. It was hard to put my story in. I wanted it to be, there I was for that aha moment that happened when I was little, that really shaped, like, nobody’s what it looks like. We get to choose and people can’t tell you who you are. You have to know that for yourself. To learn that at such a young age. And I did used to think of it as a bad thing. And then to realize actually, who gets that kind of opportunity to learn that at such a young age? I wanted to just start there and then jump to Kenya.
And a friend said, after reading it, you don’t get to do that. You don’t get to go this amazing thing. And now you’re in Kenya. You have to explain why you’re the leader you are and what the process and journey has been like. I struggled with that. And here’s what it finally came down to. A friend said, you’ve given a lot of sacrifices for Days for Girls. What if this is just another one so more people find it?
What I experienced as I was writing it and interacting with people is that it’s just as important to be authentic and willing to be transparent and vulnerable. And my hope is that as people read it, they will see themselves and see that when they go through hard things, it does not define them and it can become a strength, not a weakness to them.
And so as I read that, I actually have excitement that maybe others will pick up the really breadcrumbs of proof that we are not our circumstances, that there’s every reason for hope and that together we can change the world. That’s the message and really the love letter I was sending through these words.
So as I read that, I can feel that message building. I’m really, really grateful I got to write it. I’m really grateful I wrestled with it the way I did it. It took four years to write this book. And I really wrestled with it, to be present, that you would feel like you were there, to be authentic, to be truthful, to be willing to say the things I needed to say and not too much and not too little. It was a real process. And this guy listening to it again and again was one of the keys to that work.
[00:42:40] Don: I just love that. I can never throw an apple core away. When I’m done with an apple, I look for Celeste, because she’s going to finish it. She’ll eat the core, and I don’t eat cores, I just don’t. Most people don’t, but she will not let an apple core go to waste.
Because as a child, she would love to have an apple core from somebody. Just to finish it, and just to be able to get some apple. So, I love that story, I love the fact that she felt, I am not from this place. And she’s not. She is totally, totally not from that place. She’s an elegant and incredible woman that is self-made, I believe.
Very self-made, because she came from very little. And her parents did the best they could. But she had a rough time. It was a rough childhood. And she got through it, and because of it, became who she is today.
[00:43:37] Celeste: And he also can testify of the truth that I can’t eat in front of people unless everyone has food.
[00:43:43] Don: And it’s frustrating to me. I’ve been to Africa with her 26 times. She’s on a plane, she cannot eat unless everybody around her has food. She’ll even ask them, would you like some? I don’t have any problem, I just start eating. But she will not eat unless everyone around her has food. It’s just something that’s been ingrained in her since a child. And to this day, she won’t eat tunafish sandwiches, there’s no way.
[00:44:10] Carole: How have people responded to the book? What surprised you?
[00:44:14] Celeste: I love that question. I have to tell you that it was a real wrestle to write this book. It took four years to complete it. I wanted to be authentic and present, include everyone. And that was a real wrestle. So I was so excited. You should have seen me the day that we got the contract, it was going to be published. It felt like a miracle. And then came several days before the book came out. And it was like this feeling all of a sudden. Oh. My. Goodness. I just opened something to the whole world and told them everything about me.
What have I done? They could misunderstand. They could not believe it. I had this moment of remorse. So, I felt like I’d stepped out of a space capsule. And it was like ground control to Major Tom moment. The day the books got to my porch, the notes and letters and messages that started coming in with people saying, I feel like I’m seen. I feel like there’s hope for my future. I feel like I can make a difference too. I feel like I can heal from trauma I’ve been through. I’m so glad I got to read this.
I had no idea. And having people relate to it in such a deep way was just miraculous. I don’t know what I expected. I certainly hoped it would touch people. I hoped that they would see in it understanding and see the difference we can make together. And of course, to understand why Days for Girls and menstrual equity at large matters.
[00:45:53] Carole: Tell us where Days for Girls is right now in terms of your involvement and what you’re up to.
[00:45:59] Celeste: About two years ago, I was able to step down from the day to day of Days for Girls. We have an incredible CEO that’s been with Days for Girls for many years, and I got the joy of working with her prior to this. And her name’s Tiffany Larson. I have been working on promoting the book, which helps Days for Girls and continuing my work for advocating for Days for Girls and helping make sure people know about it to help support it.
I have been spending even more time with my family, which has been nice after so many years of being gone, traveling and working such long, long hours. It’s been a real joy to get to do that and I get to help lots of nonprofits now and lots of business owners go after their purpose and their dreams.
And I’m also serving a service mission, which means I get to coordinate young people that want to serve in their communities and help them be more active in serving in vital ways in their community. So there’s a lot going on, as always.
[00:47:05] Carole: Is there anything you guys would like to say that I haven’t asked you?
[00:47:09] Don: A lot of people ask us how is it that you guys can stay married for all these years? What is it that you do? And I’d have to say, you need to forget yourself and serve your spouse, serve your wife, serve your husband. And they do the same thing. So you both get served. And what happens when we serve people? We fall in love with them. We love them. So I think service, charity, our faith has been incredibly important to us.
[00:47:41] Celeste: And little small things. He’ll fill my water bottle and put it on my side of the bed. I’ve done that for him for years. We’re always looking for ways to be there for each other.
[00:47:51] Don: I like making breakfast for her in the morning.
[00:47:55] Carole: So much of this is international, from what I understand. These menstruation products, the stigma, it exists in the United States.
[00:48:03] Celeste: Definitely.
[00:48:04] Carole: What about your own backyard? I’m sure you’ve had that question before.
[00:48:07] Celeste: Oh, absolutely. And this is why Days for Girls chapters work for making sure local schools have access and advocate so government takes that on and lowers, we have luxury tax on tampons. What? We could like eliminate that and it should be an easy decision, but it hasn’t been for people in government. And so advocating for that and making sure access to the products is happening either at schools or in libraries and workplaces and make sure it’s available. My own family experienced it, which is why, you know, my sister would miss school.
So it was so astonishing to realize that I hadn’t asked that question, that I myself didn’t even think, hey, wait, ask that question until it came up one night and I am astonished that we were, we have been so quiet about this thing that affects half of our population in our world. And Days for Girls is part of that and other orgs are joining in more and more all the time.
And governments and states and groups. And here’s the truth. In New York City, years ago, there was a pilot in Queens to see if they put menstrual products in the bathrooms, would there be a run on them? They planned on extra products the first month, thinking they’re going to, a bunch of people are going to scoop them up and they’ll be gone.
And maybe after a while, they’ll stop hoarding them and we can have a regular supply. And did you know, even from the very first month, no one hoarded them. They just used them. And attendance went up measurably after even that month of supply. So this is needed everywhere because we are not the ones that decided this should be shameful. We are not.
It’s just been so permeated through societies all over the world and we can just decide actually no. It’s true that has been, you know, shown to me, taught to me. I have felt that, but I can make a new decision. And it is one decision at a time. A movement that can change so that the next generation will go, they used to be afraid to talk about periods? They used to not understand that was important? And that can happen on our watch. And that’s exciting to me.
[00:50:34] Carole: Did you find like especially with this kind of product that you had to find women because I’m imagining that men just don’t get it I mean, how could they?
[00:50:43] Celeste: Oh, you’d be surprised. Okay. First, yes, mostly women came up at first, but not only women. And some of our most fierce advocates have been men who have been willing to talk about it, have been willing to support it, have been willing to come all in to move mountains that periods are happening. And it’s so good to see more and more showing up because it is important and here’s the truth: this really is something we can change in our lifetime. That’s one of the things I love about it. There are a lot of things that are really hard to change, but this is something we can do in our lifetime.
[00:51:20] Carole: If anyone wanted to, how could they reach you?
[00:51:23] Celeste: I’m on social media and I also have a website that has a link for emailing me. CelesteMergens. com. It also has the links for Days for Girls and oh, I’d be happy to talk with people and I hope they’ll read the book and share with me how they feel about that as well.
[00:51:45] Carole: Before we wrap up, I wanna tell you the full circle story about how I came to know Celeste and Days for Girls. It’s one of those coinkydink stories you just can’t make up. My first encounter with Days for Girls actually happened long before I met Celeste. I was at a women’s weekend retreat hosted by Rise Gatherings, and one afternoon we were seated in a circle passing around the contents of a striped purple and blue pouch.
That’s when I saw for the first time the reusable pads, the fabric envelopes that they were folded into with the soap, washcloth, and the other things. And I remember thinking, wow, this is such a dignified, creative, clever way to send menstrual supplies to girls and women who needed them. For each $10 donation, someone would receive a kit that would last for years.
Fast forward to now, I am working on a documentary film. So imagine my surprise when a friend introduces me to an Emmy Award-winning documentary film producer, Hilary Steinman, who it turns out runs, with other volunteers, the Days for Girls chapter in New York City. Hilary mentioned to me that Celeste’s memoir was about to be released and that she was making her rounds on the podcast circuit. I reached out immediately and here we are. Years after discovering Days for Girls and making my first donation, I find myself sitting across from the woman who started it all.
Thank you so much for listening to Wisdom Shared. If you enjoyed this episode, please be sure to check out all the other episodes. Go to caroleblueweiss.com or wherever you listen to podcasts. If you like what you’re hearing on Wisdom Shared, please spread the word and share this podcast with your friends. Leave a review and subscribe so you can receive wisdom every month. Thanks for listening.
